I have a problem and it's not a womanizing or a sex problem (i fucking love women btw) or a drug problem or even an alcohol or anything like that problem. I have zero issue abstaining from all of these. I think I need to stop putting people especially people not directly involved in my life before myself. I think I will be a lot more happy if I stop focusing on trying to always solve everybodys problem and just focus on what makes me happy
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Hi @graf, we don’t know each other, but trust me when I tell you to drop this. Think for yourself first, there’s nothing wrong with that. More importantly, there’s often more to lose than to gain by helping someone. You never know if your help will truly be appreciated, and most of the time, you may end up alone when it’s your turn to need help.
I’ve been in situations with both wealthy and very poor people, and honestly, humanity can be disappointing. That’s a hard truth for many to accept, but it doesn’t make it any less true. So go ahead and avoid unnecessary burden.
I’ve been in situations with both wealthy and very poor people, and honestly, humanity can be disappointing. That’s a hard truth for many to accept, but it doesn’t make it any less true. So go ahead and avoid unnecessary burden.
my issue isn't whether or not maybe this will end up costing me because its definitely going to cost me somehow whether it be financial emotional physical whatever. whenever I need help the only people I can turn to is you guys but the only help I can turn to you guys for is help with the site. I have friends IRL but I could never ask them to do something like cosign a car or a house or a loan or something like that, I have too much pride. I have on one occasion used a couple friends from poast as references for something but I would never ever put anybody on this webzone in a position where they would ever be out anything.
I want to help this person. I want to help these people, I should say. I want to. but there are some things that happened between the first time I was asked for help until now that always stick out in my mind. and i want to talk to her about it in person. there is also a 4 year long issue we need to discuss before i consider it but every time I bring it up "we can write up a letter and agree on it and sign it with lawyers!" and because this is an ESL person you can't just be like "no, like there need to be safeguards for both parties" and its just. I'm just so tired man. I can hear in her voice every time I talk to her that she is tired and she mentions me helping her and she just sounds happier over all and its just all burning my brain
I want to help this person. I want to help these people, I should say. I want to. but there are some things that happened between the first time I was asked for help until now that always stick out in my mind. and i want to talk to her about it in person. there is also a 4 year long issue we need to discuss before i consider it but every time I bring it up "we can write up a letter and agree on it and sign it with lawyers!" and because this is an ESL person you can't just be like "no, like there need to be safeguards for both parties" and its just. I'm just so tired man. I can hear in her voice every time I talk to her that she is tired and she mentions me helping her and she just sounds happier over all and its just all burning my brain
I can see your point, and it’s not necessarily wrong. Of course, without knowing all the people involved or the full situation, I can only guess.. but from the outside, it looks like someone might be trying to manipulate you, the fact that you’re writing about it suggests that something inside you is already warning you not to go through with it. My advice is to trust your instincts and don’t do it. In the end, it’s your decision, but as I and many others have said, it really seems wiser not to do it.
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Every woman I've told about this or let read our conversations has said it's manipulation too. My sister who is involved in a relevant industry told me I'm straight up being lied to. I have seen the legal documents so I know it's above board, but my sister might be right and I might be being mislead. I asked about what I was concerned about and I got ignored but then when we were in person I got like a half-assed response out of nowhere. so like, I don't know man.
I have to literally sit down and type out a pros vs cons and questions vs answers word document to decide if I should do this and like????? I'm 40 now why am I doing this
I have to literally sit down and type out a pros vs cons and questions vs answers word document to decide if I should do this and like????? I'm 40 now why am I doing this