Tuesday morning #headlines recap
Editor’s note: the poast is brief this morning due to a very heavy day at work. Luckily there’s a new power ranking out to supplement the TLDR format.
TLDR: today vs. yesterday
The April script ran again, faster: Israel hit southern Lebanon, Iran declared the ceasefire void "on all fronts," suspended US talks, and reached for the chokepoints — this time naming Bab el-Mandeb alongside Hormuz. Oil jumped ~8%. Trump ran the full arc in one afternoon ("I couldn't care less" → "talks back on at a rapid pace" → "no troops to Beirut"), the Lebanon truce he announced lasted about fifteen minutes, and overnight Russia put one of the war's largest missile-and-drone barrages into Kyiv. Markets, naturally, closed the S&P at a record while Bitcoin fell through $70k.
WEEKLY POWER RANKINGS
Koolaid infused watermelon. ICE agents wearing rolexes. The first white jeet in recorded history.
